Earlier that night, I was sitting at home on my yoga ball eating dinner with Josh and my sister, watching some 'Walking Dead', when I thought to myself 'I haven't felt baby move for a while....' and usually he is so active (especially at food time). I cast my mind back through my day, which had been like any other day: we had taken Sienna to the park, gone out for lunch, played at home, but throughout all of that Blueberry had stayed very still. In fact, I don't think I felt him much at all. I decided, after some persuasion from my sister, Josh and the mums from my mums group via messenger, to call the hospital, just to be sure everything was okay. When I was told that I should come in to be monitored, just in case, my mind went crazy with thoughts; 'What if I need to be induced?', 'I don't want to be induced', 'I don't want a long labour', 'What do I do with Sienna who is asleep upstairs?', 'What do we do about Josh and work tomorrow?', 'Should he come out with us or should he stay here with sleeping Sienna because I am only being monitored that doesn't mean I'm going to go into labour... does it?', 'Is this it? Is labour beginning now?'. I was just a bundle of stress and nerves. Then I started feeling pains and a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen, which shot through to my back. I knew that something was happening.
We all jumped in my sisters car and left for the hospital at about 9.30pm. Poor Sienna was a little confused by the whole situation. The whole car trip in I was experiencing contractions, but they weren't too bad, I could breathe my way through them and I could still smile (in my labour with Sienna, I can vividly remember the midwives saying 'you can still smile, you're not really in labour yet.'). We met my parents at the emergency room and were taken through to maternity where I was strapped up to machines that monitor my heart beat and contractions and babys heart beat, and I was given an internal examination to see how far into labour I was. We found out that I was having contraction pains, but I wasn't dilated at all, so I was still in very early labour. My midwife gave me the option of staying the night in the hospital because I lived so far away or to go home and come in again when things progressed further. Since my parents were there with us I decided to go back to their place, as it was close by and I could get some rest and come back in quickly if need be. So I was given some pain relief (in the form of Panadine Forte) and sleeping tablets, in the hope of getting some form of rest, and sent on my way.
We got to my parents place at about 12.15am and by that time the contractions were getting stronger but I could still breathe through them and could still smile :-) We went inside and Sienna was put to bed. My memories from this point on are a little blurry, probably because the sleeping tablets were starting to take effect, so from this point on I can only give you the details as I remember them, Josh and my family members may have a very different account of the way things went. I remember lying on the lounge, thinking to myself that I should have my supper snack as I hadn't eaten anything since dinner and had given myself my insulin shot at the hospital, when I felt the pressure of another contraction, then felt a pop and the spread of water which I couldn't hold in and pain spread through my whole body. My water had broken... as I was lying on my parent leather lounge..... they say no damage was done, but I haven't been able to look at that lounge the same way again.
My mum called the hospital and I was told to go back in right away. I remember being in so much pain that I couldn't move and Josh had to help me/carry me out to the car. I don't physically remember the car trip back in at all. But I do remember that as soon as my water broke at home, I felt the need to push with every contraction and I thought I wasn't going to make it to the hospital. I remember making bargains with myself in my mind that I just needed to make it to the hospital and then I could get pain relief as my reward.
I was dropped off at the emergency room at about 1.00am, where Josh ran in and got me a wheelchair and I was taken back through to maternity. We were put in the same delivery room where I gave birth to Sienna and I was put on the bed. Pain was coursing through me with every contraction. I heard the word 'gas' offered and was like 'yes, yes, yes', so I had a few puffs on that in the hope it would take the edge off the pain, but was told they couldn't give me anything else in the way of pain relief, until the had checked again to see how far into labour I was. Another internal examination was done to discover that Blueberry was right there ready to come out and all I needed to do was push. So I was put into position and within about 5 contractions he was out and up on my chest.
He was so tiny (you forget how small they are) and so wobbly. I just remember looking up at Josh and the look of happiness on his face made it all worthwhile. We had a new addition to our little family... a beautiful healthy boy... here in my arms!! It was an amazing feeing! He was then taken to be weighed and measured and the given back to be fed straight away to check his blood sugar levels were all good, since I had gestational diabetes. Then finally Josh got to hold him too. Proud Daddy Moment... first time seeing Father and Son together... the thought still brings tears to my eyes.
I suffered from a lot of self-doubt through this labour. I don't know if it was the fact that I had just experienced a full day with Sienna and Josh, so I was already pretty tired by the end of the day or if it was the sleeping tablets or just general exhaustion, but I remember the whole way through thinking to myself... 'I can't do this'. Either I felt like I didn't have the energy, or the ability to do what it was that I had to do, whether it was getting up to walk to the car or actually push Oliver out, I just remember repeating over and over again 'I can't do this'. Which makes me so glad that I had such a supportive person in Josh there with me throughout this whole thing. Keeping me calm at home, helping me to the car, telling me that I could do it because he believed in me. He was my rock the whole way through and I am so thankful for him. I am also really thankful for the other members of my family for being there. My beautiful daughter, Sienna, for being such a good girl thoughout everything! I cannot wait to see all the adventures you are going to have with your little brother. My sister for driving us in when it all started. My mum for watching Sienna throughout the whole thing. My dad for taking control of the situation and telling us all to come out straight away and for driving us to the hospital with me passed out in the front seat in pain and keeping a level head. Couldn't have done it without you all.
It took a few days to decide on the name. But we always knew that 'James' was going to be his middle name because it is both Josh's middle name and my dads middle name, so it has ties to both sides. Oliver has always been a name that both Josh and I have liked, and was actually going to be Siennas name if she turned out to be a boy. Now that he's here I can't imagine him with any other name.
So, little Oliver James Waters, welcome to the world and its many wonders. Thank you for coming out so quickly and without complication and most of all, my beautiful little man, thank you for choosing me to be your mummy! I can't wait to teach you and show you everything I can. I am already so proud of you. xx
