Journalling

There is this thing that I have wanted to do every year but have never got to it. People get a jar and write down all the good memories and things that happened throughout the year and store them in the jar, so that at the end of the year you can look back and remember what a good year it was.
I am doing something similar through these blogs. I am remembering the things that happen to me throughout the year that bring me joy or gratitude. And I also have this book that I keep on my bedside table called a "Mom’s One Line a Day - A Five Year Memory Book". Where everyday for 5 years you write down a good memory from each day. I was writing in it yesterday and I came across my memory from last this time last year. It said 'Watching Sienna take her first steps'. It blows my mind that my little princess has been walking for a year!

I find it fascinating to look back on things that happened on this exact day years ago. That new thing in Facebook that allows you to look back to what you posted on that day previously helps you to see how much you have grown and changed as a person from then to today.

I am so grateful that I have these memories stored to look back on. All the updates on how I was feeling throughout my pregnancy with Ollie to look back on. Remembering how we spent Sienna's first and second years of life. All the little things that we did that are special but I wouldn't remember if I hadn't them written down. And now I ask myself where the whole of last year went... I cannot believe that in about 12 weeks my baby boy will be one year old!! That just blows my mind! So I am trying everything I can to remember these times and to catch these memories of them at this age because they are just growing up way too fast!

Gratefulness for Family and Friends

Hello friends!

As some of you may know that read my earlier blog, I am focusing on finding snippets of joy in everyday life this year.

Last night being New Years Eve, was a really fun time that we were lucky enough to spend with friends. I cannot think of a better way to see the new year in than by watching Sienna dance away with our friends, having the time of her life (yes, she did make it all the way to midnight, much to the surprise of Josh and I). It made my heart smile so much to see her having so much fun and I can only hope that I can help to make the rest of her year just as good as it started out.
Ollie fell asleep before the celebrations at midnight but woke shortly after to see what all the fuss was about and went back to sleep shortly after again.

Today Josh and I were treated to an awesome afternoon without the children (thanks mum and dad). We treated ourselves to a DOUBLE movie afternoon. In which we watched both 'The Greatest Showman' and 'Star Wars - The Last Jedi'. Considering the amount of shade I have listened to thrown in the direction of both movies, I thoroughly enjoyed both of them. My inner musical geek surfaced in the big musical numbers of the Showman bring tears of happiness to my eyes (God bless you, Hugh Jackman). And the special effects of the lightsaber wielding heroes made my heart jumps with every swing in Star Wars.
And finally getting that one on one time with Josh was also amazing. With Christmas time and all that jazz and the busyness of retail work lately, I have felt a little like we were two ships just passing in the night lately and that is something I really want to change this year.

But all in all today, I have really enjoyed the fact that I have been lucky enough to have spent all of  the first day of the New Year with the people that I love most. My family. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

PS I apologise to anyone with me for the next week or maybe longer because I will not be able to get those Showman tunes out of my head. If you haven't watched it yet... do it!! It is truly magical.

New Direction! Exciting times :-)

Hey all you lovely people!!

I am setting myself a challenge in the new year and in doing that, my blog may take a new direction... I will still post occasional updates about the kids (which reminds me I need to put one up soon because they have both grown SO much since my last blog... yes, I have been lazy), but I will be focusing on short snippets of finding joy in every day life. I want to take more pictures and film more videos (so I can put up some additional vlogs too). I want to enjoy every moment that I am with my kids, because this age is such a special age, and you can probably say that about every age that your children reach, but at this age when they are learning and experiencing so much for the first time.... to witness that is something very special. I have so much to be thankful for and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to document it, so when the kids get older they can see how even the little things are extraordinary and that life is such an amazing thing that too many people take for granted everyday. It needs to be enjoyed!!

So in between now and the new year I will probably put up some other posts, but I really want to focus on more blogs and documenting everyday happiness in the new year!

Let me know your thoughts and ideas because I want you all to be involved too. Let me know all the little everyday things that you find joy in.

Till next time, I love you all, have an amazing day!

1 Month Postpartum - Getting Used To Life With 2 Kids!!

It is crazy to think that little Ollie has been with us for a month already!! Where did that time go?? I know that technically one month was on Monday, when he was four weeks. But it's now the 27th so I'm counting this as a month since he was born :-)

We have a very cuddly baby here with us... he loves being held and cuddled. When he is in someone's arms, he is the most content and will happily fall asleep, as soon as he is put in a bassinet or a bouncer he gets unsettled and wakes up. That has been a real challenge. He is slowly getting better though. (I am not complaining at all, I do love cuddling him. Especially now that it is getting cooler because he is like a mini heater.) He has the strongest neck muscles, when he is burping over the shoulder, he is constantly lifting his head and looking around at everything and he also uses his little legs to push up and almost crawl up my body. He is completely the opposite to his sister in this aspect because she was the most chilled out and quiet baby, but Ollie wriggles everywhere! He is always moving, which makes it hard to hold and burp him sometimes. And he is loud! He is a lot more vocal than Sienna was, he makes these cute little noises all the time especially before he sneezes and he even when he is asleep he makes a lot of noise and when he cries.... he cries!!
Oliver has grown 4cm since he was born, so I'm thinking he's going to be pretty tall. He has long arms, fingers, legs and toes and has the most adorable little face that pulls the funniest expressions. We haven't done a whole lot of tummy time with him yet, but it is something I will be doing more of over the next few weeks.

The hardest thing this time around, I feel, is finding the balance between looking after Ollie and still being able to spend time with Sienna. Ollie feeds an awful lot and the prevents me from being able to play with and have a lot of one on one time with Sienna. I feel that this increased when we had the early childhood nurse come to our house to make sure everything was going alright with Ollie and she told us that he was quite underweight so I had to increase his feeds (when I already felt like I was feeding him all day long). But it came down to the fact that I started using a shield to feed him because he was having trouble latching on and it was getting quite painful. The shield was leaking quite a bit of liquid as Ollie's hands like to come up and interfere with feeding and he kept knocking the it away, so he wasn't getting as much as he could have been. Since then I have ditched the shield and he is feeding a lot better and is getting more out of the feeds, so he is more settled when he is not feeding and he can take those longer stretches between feeds (giving me a bit of a break too). Since loosing the shield Ollie has increase his weight and is back on track too, which is really good.

Sienna loves Oliver! She is always looking in on him and wanting to cuddle and kiss him and pick him up. She even wants to help by giving him his dummy (sometimes when he is asleep and doesn't really need it). She can say his name, which is really nice, and always shows concern when he is crying. She has adapted really well to this huge change in her life. There was a bit at the beginning, where she tested her boundaries quite a bit. But because Josh and I stuck to our guns with discipline, she got over it quickly and is being a really good girl.

I have been really lucky so far, because I have had a lot of help and support in Josh and I am in all honesty, really nervous about juggling the two of them as he has gone back to work this week. I don't think I could have made it this far without him. We have got into such a good routine with the two of us over the past month and now I am going to have to get used to a whole new routine with just me and them both. But I have talked to a lot of my mum friends, who have more than one child and have learned that I just have to take one day at a time and it will get easier. Sienna started day care today. She will be there one day a week and I know that I am lucky enough to have my sister nearby who can come and help when she's not working and I also have my mum who is willing to come visit and help me out a few days a week, so I won't be alone with both of them too often, but it is still a daunting and overwhelming thought.
To all of those people who have reached out and tried to organise times to meet up and see Ollie... I am just still getting my bearings and once I am in a routine without Josh, I will definitely get back to you.

As for me... I had second degree tearing when he was born so I have been healing up from that which took a while. But now I am back to my old self I am even back to my pre pregnancy weight! So that feels amazing! I seem to be loosing a lot of hair. My hair has always been thick but during my pregnancy when I brushed it, there didn't seem to be a lot coming out in the brush, but now I can fill a whole brush each day! The same thing happened with Sienna though, so I am not too worried about going bald or anything ha ha.
As I said before, I had some issues with feeding at the beginning and I was really worried about getting mastitis, but I seem to have avoided that one for the time being luckily. Because of all the feeding sessions I am having with Ollie, my back is having some problems but I'm sure its nothing that a good massage couldn't cure (hint hint ha ha), I think its just tight muscles.
Not having the bump in the way has been soooo good!! I can now pick Sienna up without any issues and I can rough and tumble with her again and chase after her easily. I can bend over her cot to reach her again and can lay on my back again without feeling breathless after a few minutes!!
Most importantly though, I can eat everything again!!!!! My love for cooking has returned, because now I can cook whatever I want and eat it too!! I will have to go back into the hospital in a few weeks to check that the diabetes is definitely gone, but in the hospital my sugar levels were back to normal, and Ollie had no signs of high or low sugar levels either. Hooray!!!

And that's really everything... If you have anything you'd like to know about Ollie or anything else, just leave me a comment anywhere and I'll get back to you or answer it in another blog. I might not be doing updates on us weekly anymore because not a lot is changing week by week but I am going to still try and put up blogs on other things as often as I possibly can, and I will put up a monthly update at least.

Birth Blog - Introducing Oliver James Waters!

At 1.50am on Monday the 27th of March, 2017, Josh and I were introduced to a little squirming body that was a lot louder than his sister, but so similar in every other way. He looked just like her, he weight 7lb 11oz, just like her, and at 49cm, he was only 1cm longer than she was. It was one of the fastest but most painful and exhausting experiences of my life, but looking back on it now, it was so worth it (that's not saying I'll be going back for another any time soon though). I must warn you now, that the following blog may go into some details of labour that may be too much information for some people so if you don't want to hear some gory details maybe skip this blog :-)

Earlier that night, I was sitting at home on my yoga ball eating dinner with Josh and my sister, watching some 'Walking Dead', when I thought to myself  'I haven't felt baby move for a while....' and usually he is so active (especially at food time). I cast my mind back through my day, which had been like any other day: we had taken Sienna to the park, gone out for lunch, played at home, but throughout all of that Blueberry had stayed very still. In fact, I don't think I felt him much at all. I decided, after some persuasion from my sister, Josh and the mums from my mums group via messenger, to call the hospital, just to be sure everything was okay. When I was told that I should come in to be monitored, just in case, my mind went crazy with thoughts; 'What if I need to be induced?', 'I don't want to be induced', 'I don't want a long labour', 'What do I do with Sienna who is asleep upstairs?', 'What do we do about Josh and work tomorrow?', 'Should he come out with us or should he stay here with sleeping Sienna because I am only being monitored that doesn't mean I'm going to go into labour... does it?', 'Is this it? Is labour beginning now?'. I was just a bundle of stress and nerves. Then I started feeling pains and a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen, which shot through to my back. I knew that something was happening.

We all jumped in my sisters car and left for the hospital at about 9.30pm. Poor Sienna was a little confused by the whole situation. The whole car trip in I was experiencing contractions, but they weren't too bad, I could breathe my way through them and I could still smile (in my labour with Sienna, I can vividly remember the midwives saying 'you can still smile, you're not really in labour yet.'). We met my parents at the emergency room and were taken through to maternity where I was strapped up to machines that monitor my heart beat and contractions and babys heart beat, and I was given an internal examination to see how far into labour I was. We found out that I was having contraction pains, but I wasn't dilated at all, so I was still in very early labour. My midwife gave me the option of staying the night in the hospital because I lived so far away or to go home and come in again when things progressed further. Since my parents were there with us I decided to go back to their place, as it was close by and I could get some rest and come back in quickly if need be. So I was given some pain relief (in the form of Panadine Forte) and sleeping tablets, in the hope of getting some form of rest, and sent on my way.

We got to my parents place at about 12.15am and by that time the contractions were getting stronger but I could still breathe through them and could still smile :-) We went inside and Sienna was put to bed. My memories from this point on are a little blurry, probably because the sleeping tablets were starting to take effect, so from this point on I can only give you the details as I remember them, Josh and my family members may have a very different account of the way things went. I remember lying on the lounge, thinking to myself that I should have my supper snack as I hadn't eaten anything since dinner and had given myself my insulin shot at the hospital, when I felt the pressure of another contraction, then felt a pop and the spread of water which I couldn't hold in and pain spread through my whole body. My water had broken... as I was lying on my parent leather lounge..... they say no damage was done, but I haven't been able to look at that lounge the same way again.
My mum called the hospital and I was told to go back in right away. I remember being in so much pain that I couldn't move and Josh had to help me/carry me out to the car. I don't physically remember the car trip back in at all. But I do remember that as soon as my water broke at home, I felt the need to push with every contraction and I thought I wasn't going to make it to the hospital. I remember making bargains with myself in my mind that I just needed to make it to the hospital and then I could get pain relief as my reward.

I was dropped off at the emergency room at about 1.00am, where Josh ran in and got me a wheelchair and I was taken back through to maternity. We were put in the same delivery room where I gave birth to Sienna and I was put on the bed. Pain was coursing through me with every contraction. I heard the word 'gas' offered and was like 'yes, yes, yes', so I had a few puffs on that in the hope it would take the edge off the pain, but was told they couldn't give me anything else in the way of pain relief, until the had checked again to see how far into labour I was. Another internal examination was done to discover that Blueberry was right there ready to come out and all I needed to do was push. So I was put into position and within about 5 contractions he was out and up on my chest.

He was so tiny (you forget how small they are) and so wobbly. I just remember looking up at Josh and the look of happiness on his face made it all worthwhile. We had a new addition to our little family... a beautiful healthy boy... here in my arms!! It was an amazing feeing! He was then taken to be weighed and measured and the given back to be fed straight away to check his blood sugar levels were all good, since I had gestational diabetes. Then finally Josh got to hold him too. Proud Daddy Moment... first time seeing Father and Son together... the thought still brings tears to my eyes.

I suffered from a lot of self-doubt through this labour. I don't know if it was the fact that I had just experienced a full day with Sienna and Josh, so I was already pretty tired by the end of the day or if it was the sleeping tablets or just general exhaustion, but I remember the whole way through thinking to myself... 'I can't do this'. Either I felt like I didn't have the energy, or the ability to do what it was that I had to do, whether it was getting up to walk to the car or actually push Oliver out, I just remember repeating over and over again 'I can't do this'. Which makes me so glad that I had such a supportive person in Josh there with me throughout this whole thing. Keeping me calm at home, helping me to the car, telling me that I could do it because he believed in me. He was my rock the whole way through and I am so thankful for him. I am also really thankful for the other members of my family for being there. My beautiful daughter, Sienna, for being such a good girl thoughout everything! I cannot wait to see all the adventures you are going to have with your little brother. My sister for driving us in when it all started. My mum for watching Sienna throughout the whole thing. My dad for taking control of the situation and telling us all to come out straight away and for driving us to the hospital with me passed out in the front seat in pain and keeping a level head. Couldn't have done it without you all.

It took a few days to decide on the name. But we always knew that 'James' was going to be his middle name because it is both Josh's middle name and my dads middle name, so it has ties to both sides. Oliver has always been a name that both Josh and I have liked, and was actually going to be Siennas name if she turned out to be a boy. Now that he's here I can't imagine him with any other name.

So, little Oliver James Waters, welcome to the world and its many wonders. Thank you for coming out so quickly and without complication and most of all, my beautiful little man, thank you for choosing me to be your mummy! I can't wait to teach you and show you everything I can. I am already so proud of you. xx

Thank You!!

I just wanted to say a HUGE thank you for all the support I have received over the past 24 hours!!

You guys are truly the best people and I am so lucky to be able to call each and every one of you my friends! The amount of people who have come forward to share their stories of Gestational Diabetes or give their support to me has been phenomenal!! I was unsure about if I wanted to share my results on here, because I felt that poorly on myself, but I thought there might be other people like me out there that need to know there are others facing the same thing, and I taught myself that lesson at the same time. Here I was thinking that I was a let down to all females. That I was weak. And then I find out that there are so many people who have been through it, and that makes me feel like I can take on the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Even before yesterdays blog, I want to thank all the people who read my previous blog and gave me their telephone numbers, incase I needed to call someone if anything happened. I am so lucky to be a part of such a wonderful community of people. Not just here in my hometown, but over social media. There are people who I have never met, or haven't seen in a long time and they are there right behind me, encouraging me through everything. Thank you!

To each and every one of you reading this now, thank you for being a part of this journey with me!
Happy days, until my next blog....

- A xx